I write this on a sunny day, a day where the sky has held back the clouds and the sun has been given the spotlight. A day where I woke up bright and early, having fully rested the night before (something I’ve come to cherish immensely these past few weeks). A day where I looked in the mirror and saw that my unwanted breakouts were still having a party on my face, my cheeks nonetheless, yet I completed my morning routine and still felt beautiful. 

I write this after enduring almost three months of intense spiritual warfare that I felt would never end. Three months of being made to feel as if I were losing my mind. Three months of being pushed up against an emotional, mental, and spiritual wall that tested my heart posture towards God. I constantly found myself looking at my reflection in the invisible mirror that God so often holds up to me during trying times such as these. Every time I thought I had reached the “ultimate” level of understanding, growth, and overall preparedness for my promises from God, He had to sit me down and gently reveal the parts of my heart that were out of alignment. He had to show me the covert pride that I had masqueraded as self-confidence. Although it wasn’t always, I had plenty of moments where I felt that I knew what was best. I had to learn that no matter your level of intimacy in your relationship with God, you will always have room to grow. Yes, He’ll reveal the secret things, and yes, He’ll show you a unique and insurmountable portion of favor—but you are still His child. He is still your Father. 

The intense ups and downs I found myself experiencing left me feeling hopeless. There were never moments where I couldn’t hear God, but even as He would encourage and push me to keep going, the vision I had of the end goal was getting blurrier and blurrier. I started to lose sight of why I was standing for what He’d promised me in the first place. What was the point? Things were moving so slowly that any signs of life I had been trying to hold onto were now slipping through my fingers, and the harder I tried to maintain my grasp, the quicker they seemed to escape. All I could see was the evidence of what wasn’t, and this made it so difficult for me to trust in what God said they would eventually be. 

This was one of the darkest and lowest periods of my life in a long time, and I genuinely saw no way out. It felt like I was stuck in a cycle of having high expectations and unshakeable faith, only to be met with disappointment and further heartache. Funny enough, throughout all of this, I still didn’t look like what I was going through privately to the outside world. Every day, God met me where I was and filled my cup. Every day, He spoke life into me and beckoned for me to hope again. For that to happen, my perspective needed to change. 

I was looking at my promise from a skewed point of view. Instead of embracing each day of waiting as it came, and understanding that my promise is simply another level in which I will continue to grow and face trials, I was looking at it as if it would be the one thing that would solve all of my problems. I mean, objectively, I had an idea that things wouldn’t be completely perfect, but I was putting all of my faith into the promise as opposed to the one who gave it to me. Idolizing the gift over the gift-giver is dangerous, and plays a key role in our struggle to wait on God patiently.

Keyword: patiently. 

If you find yourself in a place of uncomfortable mental and spiritual torment (I’m exaggerating, but not really lol) regarding your promise, I want to encourage you to check your heart posture. It’s in us placing our faith solely in God’s character (who He is) and not the promise we’re trusting Him for (a direct extension and benefit of who He is), that we’re able to tap into the peace necessary to wait on Him with grace. Where are you placing your faith?

Romans 8:24-25 lets us know that faith, hope, and patience all go hand-in-hand, “For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” Hope is defined as the following; a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen, a person or thing that may help or save someone, grounds for believing that something good may happen, or a feeling of trust. The fact that you’re still waiting on this promise, and more than likely see little to no signs of life, means that you’re in the perfect position to hope.

Romans 15:13 teaches us that hope and God’s character are intertwined, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” This means that hope can always be found in God’s presence, heart open and fully surrendered. How strategic of the enemy to use the very promises God has given us to harden our hearts towards Him. The enemy knows that the further we are from the presence of Jesus, the less hope we have and the harder it is to hold onto what little hope we may currently have tucked away in our hearts.

Your ability to positively and eagerly anticipate that God will come through for you is tied directly to your ability to identify when it’s finally coming to pass. Remember, we cannot please God without our faith (Hebrews 11:6). What misconceptions do you have about your promise from God that are getting in the way of you having hope? Take some time to partner with God and lean into all of the ways He has been trying to get you excited about your promise again. I had to get to a place where I was willing to surrender MY expectations and embrace the ones HE was giving me. It’s easy to get carried away and lose sight of the fact that although God is a God of the miraculous, He is still a God of order. You need this time to prepare for what He has in store for you, because when it’s time? It’s TIME. There will be no hitting the pause button because the manifestation of your promise is tied to God’s glory and the expansion of His kingdom.

Be encouraged that you are right where you need to be, and if ever you are out of alignment in any way, God loves you so much that He will work with you to get back on track. This, however, still takes two. Do the work now so you can prosper later, I promise it will all be worth it! :)

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Talk soon, xoxo